Welcome: An Introduction

Sharing the insights I discover as I explore and experience the mystery that is our reality. Join me in my journey and share yours.




My Poetry





Arrows


I tell her the story of Buddha,
Born a prince and curious about the world.
Exposed to a suffering he never imagined
outside of his once insulated life,
He sought to rid the world of it.



As I sweep the floor I come to one of my
Favorite parts of the story. On the Eve of
the Buddha’s enlightenment, the demon Mara
Attempts many times to defeat him. In his final try
he sends  fiery arrows across the waters at Siddhartha.
As they sail on a sure and steady
Arc towards our hero, finding detachment and compassion
He transforms them into flowers that fall harmlessly
At his side.



We reflect on that.
I turn my eyes in her direction.
She has become more than a woman
I come over and help do the things that she can no longer do.
She has become a little oasis I find myself venturing to twice a week.
A warm place of laughter and shared moments.  
Peaches, her cat, runs her left flank
alongside my calf in a gesture of affection
as I reach up to dust the corners of the ceiling.
 



She is a woman that is no stranger to fiery arrows.
I go in her room to put the vacuum away. A bedroom
void of a bed for she can no longer get in or out of one
on her own. Living every moment now in her chair.
I remember the first time she told me that.
The image of stretching one’s legs out under the covers
On a soft mattress filled my mind. What an awful thing to
Never be able to do again. And at only fifty years.
So much more time left sitting and reclining. Reclining
And sitting.
 


She tells me of when her mother found out she had MS.
“Amy,  you should really think about the things in your life
that you might have done to deserve this.
You must have done something really
bad to make God punish you like this.”
Shocked, my friend immediately
expressed her rejection of such an idea of God.
God does not punish. God is good.
And God will turn her fiery
arrows into flowers, her sadness into joy,
her suffering into opportunities to give and to learn.



She asks me what I think and I agree. She is not overly religious
But holds a quiet and simple faith tucked in the folds of her
Heart. A sacred place I dare not tread with my skepticism.



A glowing optimism emanates from her countenance
and serves as the vessel that carries her above the
Furious waves of heartache, humiliation and turmoil.
I feel I can relate in a way as I  share that same sense
that we can transform ugliness
Into beauty, obstacles into stepping stones,
frustration into peace. Sometimes it seems all a matter of
perspective. A matter of unbinding ourselves to the
material that has a way of sticking to our consciousness
Like sap to bark.



I gently close the door when I leave,
warm skin meeting winter's icy chill.Pulling  out of the lot and into the dark night, 
I glance in my rear view mirror and watch as
the light from her window
melts into the retreating distance.




Alone



I wish this world would leave me alone for awhile,
We've danced our dance and she offers little worthwhile.
Just a sea of ever swelling absurdity,
Phony characters wearing garbs of superficiality.
Give me the shelter of an old oak tree,
Skirting the curves of a gentle river.
It is there my heart will fly free,
Releasing an ecstatic shiver.
Peace to be found in observing life at play,
The moon to keep me company at night,
The song of birds to fill my empty heart by day.


Temporary Lamentations of a Mother


Where are you Peace? Like a mirage
Her form shimmers and taunts,
Dancing alluringly in the distant horizon;
Calling, beckoning, only to dissipate into
Darkness when I come close. Impossible
To grasp, too elusive to seize.

Thoughts go back to this morning,
Perched attentively in a half lotus
Position. Listening to the harmony of
My home slowly enter into my awareness
I became one with my breath, rising and falling
rising and falling, to its own uneven cadence.
Sounds of birds in the distance outside my windows,
their songs accompanying the rising sun
spreading her glorious garment
open wide before a new day,
the hum of our refrigerator, the muffled sounds of my
Husband snoring; all participants of
The disjointed orchestra of life playing
Its rhythms out all around me.
My breath having its own small role as
I bear witness to it all; my soul taking
A momentary break and simply resting
In the moment.

Hours later I find my bedroom door locked.
Mommy just gave herself a time out.
Two little criminals, bliss-snatchers,
that once gestated in my womb
are now placated after a bout
of intense bickering and whining.
Tears dried following stern admonishing
they now joyfully watch a movie together,
snuggled close beneath a cozy blanket.

I try to breathe deep again, finding grounding
in the present, finding a foundation of peace
from which my words and actions can compassionately
extend themselves from as the day continues.
I am no fool. I know full well that the crashing waves
of ambivalence and resistance will once again rise up and fall
Down mercilessly on the shores of my experience.
This temporary break in chaos is temporary indeed,
So dictates the law of Impermanence.

But there is no foundation, that’s all an illusion.
There is just a watery flow of intentions pirouetting
with various inputs and outputs, some dark, some light,
shifting and pulsing. Life’s river beckoning me in to either
Drown or heal me who knows.
I laugh at the absurdity of it all. Life, a kaleidoscope
of pain, loss, sorrow, ecstasy, peace and joy. And plunge
myself into her dark and swirling waters.

I know soon I will exit my room, already feeling
A bit more whole again after vomiting up my
reflections In prose. My soul putting on her dancing
shoes, for she now realizes she chooses to dance
amidst Joy’s gay tune, after all, why not?
Leaving sorrow in broken shards at her feet,
unlocking the bedroom door only after unlocking
the light hidden within her deep recesses,
I will welcome my offspring once again into my arms;
realizing  that we don’t need to seek light,
We have it within ourselves all along and
we can conceive and bring it forth on our own.

 


Pursuing Peace

When all hope drains away
and all that is left is filth and decay;
When longing is all that the heart feels
The soul reaching out for something to heal,
The pain that reaches deeper than eternity
All that meets one's agonizing pleas
Is an emptiness vast as the ocean is wide
The seed of light long buried deep inside
covered with thick layers of maya and grief
One's spirit longing for much needed reprieve.
This life seems a tragic and laughable dance
Poised on the pinnacle of misery and chance,
Like a wave joy rises only to meet sorrow
The light of today kisses the darkness of tomorrow.
Is there a God out there to sweep me away
from the tragedies life throws my way?
Or is it all just a jumble of happenstance
No meaning except for this moment, no God to glance
up from His undoubtedly busy duties of creating
to, in His mercy, absorb up some of this pain permeating
My soul making it throb and quiver,
Making my heart so cold that it ceases even to shiver.
Maybe there is no way to truly find out the mysteries that hold
All of mankind in suspense, a story truly untold.
We can speculate and forecast our fates
But none really knows what is scribbled on reality's slate.

All that I know is when the darkness settles in
I repeat the Holy Names as if they were a holy hymn.
In them my heart takes refuge and searches for peace
Waiting for the storm's raging winds  to finally cease.




OM


A thousand sighs cannot express
This helpless feeling of brokenness.
Oh Love that stings but no less equips
Give me strength to draw back anger's ships.
Hold these thoughts so very fierce,
Stay the arrow that threatens to pierce
This heart so heavy, sluggish, tired,
This soul needing to be God-inspired.
Flood my bones with joy's true flight.
Employ a thousand waves of light,
Until my parched throat no longer aches,
Until my soul no longer breaks.
Whole again as I've always stood
Now realizing what I always should.
That which is behind sorrow, behind pain,
When all dissipates even the shame,
Left naked and bare at center's core,
Is God; I am no more.
Peace is found when we are zero-
Illusions slain by love's eternal arrow.
I know then that I was never truly broken
For I am one with the first syllable ever spoken.
~Om~ 


 Love's First Light

 Geese soar high overhead 

drawing the curtain open to a new day.
They sound their cries,
piercing silence with brilliant vibrations.
They don't ponder existence, nor God, as I do
in these early morning hours.
They merely move and have their being,
dancing the Kosmic dance with their Creator.
Fretting not about tomorrow they plunge
with wild abandon across the horizon,
melting into Love's first light.



Love's Sweet Nectar

When love washes away all pain,
When knowing God is your only gain,
When His mercy remove's illusion's stain;
Your soul learns to dance with the rain.

There is no greater feeling than This-
Being held by the hands of Eternal Bliss.
The nectar is so sweet to taste,
You run into His arms in all haste.

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare

When he holds you in His hands
And whispers to you of greater lands;
Those woven by His higher energy
Where from the material one is finally free.

When He says, yes this child is mine,
And His peace washes over you sublime;
Your inner heart kneels before His presence within,
The mundane becomes just background din.

True freedom is conceived from a soul who surrenders,
To hearts devoted to Him, His Mercy He renders.
Everything we need is in His holy names
They lead us back to Godhead from where we first came.

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare



This Moment



Every moment unfolds
 the death and resurrection of Spirit.
We need look no further
to find Heaven
Then in This
              very 
                  moment.
Falcon swoops across the trail,
Spreading wings open wide
swallowing the Kosmos in her simple embrace,
tiny hairs on feathers ruffled by eternity's breath.
Water drops like translucent pearls down the jagged walls
of cliffs, dissolving in oneness with Earth so yielding.
I long to lay down
and merge as one with ground and sky
Where reality blossoms revealing
love transcendent.
Where joy springs up as light.
Where buddhas are born.




Time
Time twisting, turning;

unfolding blossoms brown and

brittle, death's first kiss.




Night's Dark Hours


Night's dark hours tenderly search
my heart for true devotion,
As soul stretches forward to
Rest in Him, His Love an infinite ocean.

Rising and swelling His peace it comes
His mercy restoring numbed senses.
Grace, like a blustery wind blows,
Knocking souls off of their fences.

His presence, most beautiful of distractions,
Leads my heart to dance in reverie.
In the silence of soul's seeming inaction,
Consciousness plunges into the most beautiful Mystery.

A corridor with no end to depth,
Enters the soul garbed in love that enfolds.
Traversing the darkest of chasms,
for a pearl of the greatest worth to behold.



In The Fullness of His Presence

Living, breathing, my heart is beating,
The wind blows, my faith grows,
all around life is teeming,
Lessons...beckon, the Present is my teacher
centered, in the stillness, my soul opens up to greet her,

Poised at the pinnacle of revelation
rejoicing with all of creation
nestled in the bosom of reality
I find God inside of Me.

Laughing, dancing, weeping, kneeling
I thank God for the senses of feeling.
Perched on the point between joy and despair
I breathe God in, He's everywhere.

Drunk on the ecstasy of my senses swallowing me
Every sound, every movement leaps alive from life's mural
Every moment a living mandala, impermanent and fertile.
God, living and breathing and sustaining it all,
I just rest, centered, hearing His steady call.

Draw near, draw near, enter in and find your rest,
Draw near, kneel at my throne and you will be blessed.
His throne, eternal, having no beginning or end,
Centered in our hearts, beckoning our knees to bend.





Church

His Word, its walls, branding borders of love
in my heart.
Its sanctuary; fertile earth and rushing water

endless sky mirroring His infinite form,
.The worship team; all of creation singing out in exultation,
my heart echoing,"Glory to God. Holy Holy Holy, is our Lord God Almighty".
The sermon: found in every blade that bends, every
leaf that quivers.






                                                              Birth
More joyous than new day's precious song,
More beautiful than colors painting sky and earth,
Is the the shudder my heart feels when it is with
He with Whom it belongs,
Experiencing release and ecstasy of soul's new birth.
          


          Blessed Discomforts





Never more have I felt Him so
Than when discomfort mingles with near perfection.
When chill rain falls and blustery winds blow
It’s in those moments He makes wise selection.

For in those times both rare and wild,
When the present breaks upon me in a flood,
It’s then I notice things I’d lose in events more mild,
Reminding me of His merciful grace both pure and good.





Between Heartbeats

Resting, poised, charged with expectancy
For a glimmer of consciousness to enter in
Released from ego's subtle sin;
Ever waiting for the opportunity to set one free.

You are nothing other than Now
Buried beneath time's eternal brow
The Eye that is ever watching, ever seeing
The Knower of all things being.

Illusions and delusions you continually plow
A fruit, to be picked, by the Tree of Life's outstretched bough,
Succulent, the only thing that satiates a soul's appetite,
You are the rising sun in man's heart, burning bright.

From all things, you are made manifest
And all things being birthed from you are blessed
Before thought, before time you were
And forever more you will remain, ever pure.

Between heartbeats Your energy dances
In those moments lies our soul's chances
To plunge into the most blissful reality
A momentary union with He who is Eternity.












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