Faith's Journey Into Experience

"No matter how much you know the Bible, no matter how much you discipline yourself, no matter how hard you try to serve and please God, if you are not properly related to the Spirit of God, the Christian life will not work for you. That's because the Christian life is not a ritual or a set of teachings but a relationship-a relationship with God through His Holy Spirit."

                                ~ Robert Heidler

Those words resonated within me as I can relate to them from an experiential perspective. They came from a book I recently started, Experiencing the Spirit, by Robert Heidler. In his book, Heidler, using Scripture as his guide, shows reasons why there is an absolute necessity for every believer to have an active and personal relationship with the Holy Spirit, the often overlooked third person of the Trinity. To experience the fullness of God's presence we must discover God within us, Who has dwelt within hearts since the moment we first believed.

When I first came to Christ it was a time of great joy and peace in my life.  Many fears I had experienced dissolved as I clung to the cross in trust and obedience, laying everything down and fixing my eyes on Jesus. I was taught the historical perspective of what Jesus came to do, and what he still does, in our lives. How he ministered to people, showing us the path to love, compassion and redemption. I accepted all of this with great fervor and faith. It seemed as if I ended up, over time, knowing much about Jesus and the Father, but very little about the Spirit other then what was mentioned in Scripture. And though the Spirit is mentioned in abundance within God's Word, I never drew a parallel between the Spirit of God being applicable in a tangible way in my faith or life, nor was taught any such notions. Never emphasized was the amazing source of peace and communion with God the Spirit offers us to be, if only we awaken to the reality of His presence. Practicing the presence of God within was something hardly mentioned, if it was mentioned even at all I cannot recall.

A little over a year ago I began to wrestle mightily with a sense of restlessness and dissatisfaction in my faith and walk with God. Theological questions began to consume my thoughts and a deep desire of peace that I couldn't find haunted me.  How could I feel so alone and yet be a child of God? Where was God and why couldn't I hear or sense Him in my time of need? Doubt began to infect my faith and I started reaching out to other philosophies to see if I could find peace by other means, so desperate I was to cling to something for comfort. God just wasn't cutting it.

This is why I could relate to the above passage from Heidler. There was a time when the Christian life was just not "working out" for me and I wasn't sure why. It was a dark time in my faith. A time when I felt tested and I felt like I was failing the test. It wasn't until, through a process of grappling at all the resources I could find, reading from various sources coming from a plethora of perspectives, that I came across the concept of practicing the presence of God. I came across the concept of finding Him in the present moment, of  contemplative prayer and this opened my heart and senses to the internal awareness of His presence.

When I felt the deep peace that surpasses all understanding that God offers all of us everything changed. My angst over theological questions was immediately lifted. A love poured through my heart that sparked an intense desire and thirst for His Word, which in turn, led to more amazing experiences of His infinite and compassionate presence. I came to know why Scripture refers to God's love as being better than life, a concept that used to baffle, even disturb my past cynical mind. When before, trials having made me bitter, separation from God having numbed me, I had read the Bible as more of a skeptic then a believer.  Now I read it as if they were the very words written by the lover of my soul. For they truly are!

Heidler's book introduces some concepts that are entirely new to me in what a believer in Christ is capable of doing through the power of God's Spirit within.  Perhaps some of you are a lot more knowledgeable about some of the topics the book presents than someone like me, who comes almost exclusively from an evangelical protestant perspective with the exception of what I've studied on my own over the past year, which has been primarily contemplative prayer.

Heidler's book doesn't really go into contemplative prayer but more into revealing through New Testament accounts of what the Spirit was capable of doing through believers-healing, impartation, deliverance, speaking in tongues and showing that these same manifestations of God's power are done today and  can be experienced and are applicable to any believer in Christ.

If any of you have ever wrestled with your faith and came out stronger at the end, I'd love to hear your experience and what helped you get through the dark period of your faith. If you are presently struggling with your faith it would be my honor and pleasure to pray for you. I've been there, it's not fun! Also, if any of you have any opinions/experiences on some of the topics that Hediler presents in his book, I'd love to know your thoughts. 

Comments are always appreciated! Thank you :)

Blessed Discomforts

Never more have I felt Him so
Than when discomfort mingles with near perfection.
When chill rain falls and blustery winds blow
It’s in those moments He makes wise selection.

For in those times both rare and wild,
When the present breaks upon me in a flood,
It’s then I notice things I’d lose in events more mild,
Reminding me of His merciful grace both pure and good.

I had one of those moments again...temporary freedom where my kids joyfully left smiling and waving as they went off to go to their grandparents house for dinner. Three hours, whatever shall I do? I love to take walks but as I just came in a short while ago I didn't feel too inspired. A drizzly rain fell, winds were blowing and it was getting late in the afternoon. A heap of dishes lay waiting in my sink, blog articles that I've been wanting to get to were beckoning in the corners of my subconscious. Well, despite all that, I decided that I didn't know when next I'd have the opportunity and I've found my walks of solitude a precious gift. So, I headed out the door.


With every step I took I felt as if God were drawing me deeper and deeper into His presence. I felt God all around me. Sustaining the life that lives and breathes. Rain was gently falling, a chill wind blew,  causing me to lift the hood of my coat up over my winter's hat. As I walked I just enjoyed each moment as it came, allowing my senses to take in the experience. My feet landing on concrete, the feel of my legs in mid-stride,  the warm touch of my coat's interior on my skin, each droplet of icy rain. I could hear the swooshing of cars passing by, the splatter of puddles as my feet landed upon them, displacing water. The clank and flutter of the flags outside the businesses that line our historic downtown district, the warm glow of their lights beckoning me inside to enjoy some relief from the elements. I felt my lungs expanding as each breath filled them with precious, life-giving air, and was reminded of the amazing gift of life that God gives each of us and how easily it can be taken away. And how it's just amazing to be alive.


I reflected with slight amusement how I was actually enjoying each droplet of icy rain, which during my walk turned into snow. I decided to take my hood down, I was still wearing a hat but the wind's sting now caressed my exposed neck as well as already exposed face. I thought about meditating. How there is a rhyme and a reason to the lotus position. How during meditation one is supposed to be alert, not zoning out on life, but taking it all in and how a bit of discomfort allows one to do so without nodding off or getting distracted. How a little discomfort allows the wayward mind to stay in the present moment and thus recognize and absorb all the precious gifts of the present.  The blessings of God and God Himself, inherently and blatantly present throughout all of Creation for those who slow down enough and open their senses to take notice.


When I finally returned home I was filled with an amazing peace. I peeled off my wet clothes and felt the warmth of air in our house envelope my bare skin. What a joy it is just to be living! In these moments I feel incredibly alive.  With each heart beat, each inhale and exhale, my soul lifts itself towards God in praise, opening it up before Him to receive His light and truth during those times of profound clarity. Those  moments that oftentimes are awakened by experiences of blessed discomfort.

Almost immediately I was compelled to write down what I had experienced, and I did, in the poem that began this post. I hope you enjoyed it. And when next you find yourself outside and perhaps bothered by the elements that invade your comfort, perhaps you can consider them as blessings, as opportunities to draw you into the present and be blessed by the reality of abundant miracles that surround you.

Do you have an experience where God awakened you to His reality and presence and the miracle and gift of life during the present moment? Please share!

Tasting God's Glory

"Our Heavenly Father, revealing his majesty [in the gospel], lifts reverence for Scripture beyond the realm of controversy."
         ~ John Calvin

There's something beautiful that happens when one opens their heart to God's reality. Their heart like a budding flower opens and blossoms, embracing the light of the Spirit. The "light of the gospel" is not just seen, as if by our mortal eyes, but experienced fully be the senses of the soul. When this happens, all the theological questions one might be struggling with fades away in the background, and the only thing that remains is the pure awe one has in finding oneself witness to being in the presence of God's glory.

Nothing else matters but the glory of God!

Jonathan Edwards describes he who is "spiritually enlightened" as one that does not "merely rationally believe that God is glorious, but he has a sense of the gloriousness of God in his heart."








Edwards goes on to say:

"There is a twofold understanding or knowledge of good, that God has made the mind of man capable of. The first, that which is merely speculative or notional...The other is that which consists in the sense of the heart: as when there is a sense of the beauty, amiableness, or sweetness of a thing...Thus there is a difference between having an opinion that God is holy and gracious, and having a sense of the loveliness and beauty of that holiness and grace. There is a difference between having a rational judgement that honey is sweet, and having a sense of its sweetness...When the heart is sensible of the beauty and amiableness of a thing, it necessarily feels pleasure in the apprehension...which is a far different thing from having a rational opinion that it is excellent."

Has your soul broken open and allowed the light of the Spirit to flood the innermost sacred parts of your heart to behold the glory of God? To taste His glory?....


There was a time I let theological questions get in the way of experiencing God's glory. In fact, I let such questions create a boundary between experiencing God for I  started going about seeking His truth by means of man's knowledge and not God's Word. Man has much wisdom to offer eachother, but when it comes down to it, we are but a breath to God. True knowledge rests in God's Word and through the whispers of His Spirit that awakens us while reading His Word and opening it up to Him through meditation. 

What did I gain from seeking truth from man first and God second? Confusion, restlessness of spirit and an even thirstier soul that felt near to perishing. I learned, that God's glory is less to be understood by the mind but more to be experienced by the heart.

Let's be filled with the Holy Spirit today and savor God in all His glory, letting His light awaken the senses of our soul as we bring lift high our praises!

Heavenly Father,

We are beings created to bring You praise honor and glory. We pray that Your spirit awakens our hearts, letting them bloom so that the light of Your Spirit penetrates every corner of our souls. We seek knowledge of you, but even over knowledge, experience of you. We thirst to taste the glory of God and have its truth echo joyfully in the corridors of our hearts. Cleanse and purify our hearts, renew them as we come to You, laying down the essence of who we are, so that we can become more like who You are. Help us lose ourselves in Your love so that we may shine your light even brighter amidst the world's darkness, helping to vanquish it and bringing about a greater depth of love to those around us. 

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and forever will be. 

In Jesus' precious name,

Amen. 

Experiential Knowledge/Father Jean-Pierre de Caussade

"We can only be truly instructed by the words which God speaks to us personally. No one grows in knowledge of God either by reading books or by curious historical research. These means give us but a vain and empty knowledge, which serves only to confuse us and inflate us with pride

We only know perfectly that which we have learned by experience through suffering or action. This is the school of the Holy Spirit, who speaks the words of life to the heart; and all that we say to others should come from this source. Whatever we read, whatever we see, becomes divine knowledge only by the fruitfulness, the virtue the light which this experience gives. Without this experiential knowledge, all our learning is like unleavened dough, lacking the salt and the seasoning of experience. Without this experiential knowledge, we have only vague, untried ideas to act on, we are like the dreamer who, through knowing all the highways of the world, misses the road to his own house.

Therefore we have only to listen to God from moment to moment in order to become learned in the knowledge by which the saints lived, which is all practice and experience.

Set aside what is said to others, but listen to what is said to you and for you; you will find enough in that to exercise your faith, because this interior language of God, by its very obscurity, exercises, purifies and increases your faith."

                             ~ Father Jean-Pierre de Caussade, The Joy of Full Surrender

Reading this just reminds me of the importance to live and experience life actively, thus experiencing all of its facets and becoming an actor on life's stage, not just an observer. It's hard sometimes to step out in faith and serve God through our actions but when we do we are exposed to experiences that, through  guidance of the Spirit, can give us tremendous insights that wouldn't have been achieved by reading another's account of that same experience. We need to have our own experiences so that God can work uniquely through our hearts in the ways that will invoke a relationship between us and the Spirit, between student and teacher. To live out our faith and not just read about other's isn't always easy. The Spirit will train our hearts to conform our will to God's if we let it carve off our false attachments, illusions...if we let it mold our egos so that God is glorified more and we are glorified less in our minds. The Spirit will help teach our hearts purity, humility and deeper levels of love and compassion. The Spirit is our guide to becoming more and more like Jesus.

I think this passage also provides a healthy perspective when it comes to seeking knowledge about God. Words that I have chosen to read over and over again for I surely need to be continually reminded of them! I love to read books from writers and theologians of our faith. My heart and soul thirsts for God...I want to know all I can about Him and experience Him to the fullest. I have found times though when I  have to stop and think about what I'm reading. Oftentimes, I find myself entering Scripture less and less as I dive more and more into the words written by man. In those times I find my mind wrestling with theological questions rather than entering into simple devotion for our God. I find my soul inattentive to the whispers of the Spirit and more attentive to my own desires. That's when I need to take a break from man's written words and return like a prodigal child back into God's.

I've found that when I go back to Scriptures, in repentance for seeking answers outside of His Word, that like an eternal spring of the most filtered and pure water, the Spirit rises up within me filling me with insight, peace, and yes-knowledge, far beyond what any book written by any theologian can supply.

Proverbs 1:7 says:

⁷ The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
   but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

It's my belief that when we go back to the simple and pure reverence of God, the fear of the Lord, that that begins an active relationship between our souls and the Spirit, providing spiritual manna and true knowledge of God.

Heavenly Father,

Help us lean not on our own knowledge but help us to continually seek Yours, inclining our ears towards understanding and living each moment attentive to the teachings and whisperings of Your holy Spirit. Give us the courage to be participants in the world, not just observers of it and may the meditations of our heart and the outward expressions of them be pleasing to You.

We give You all honor, glory and praise.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Experiencing God's Presence in the Everyday

"How do we enter an intimate, ongoing communion with God? The answer is simple: with practice. We undertake experiments of everyday life in which we are learning to be with God. And the stuff of our  day-to-day experience is the place where these experiments go on. This with-God life takes no time, yet it occupies all our time. When we go to work, we go to work with-God. At work we are learning how to bless those who curse us, how to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice, how our very presence can be a joy to others. And the experiments are numerous and varied: "Today, Lord, teach me somehow to bless every person I meet. Show me the preciousness of each individual. Fill my mind with creative new ideas and show me how to break the horns of cruel dilemmas." The same is true for times at home with family and time with neighbors and friends."

~ Richard Foster, Longing for God: Seven Paths of Christian Devotion

That we might accustom ourselves to a continual conversation with Him, with freedom and simplicity. That we need only to recognize God intimately present with us, to address ourselves to Him every moment, that we may beg His assistance for knowing His will in things doubtful, and for rightly performing those which we plainly see He requires of us, offering them to Him before we do them, and giving Him thanks when we have done.   ~ Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God

Mindfulness has been a transforming process spiritually for me and I am a firm believer that if we silence our oftentimes rambling and distracted thoughts, we open ourselves up to new levels of consciousness and new ways of experiencing God's presence. I wrote about this very thing in a post titled :Experiencing God - http://ascendingthehills.blogspot.com/2010/10/experiencing-god.html .

Prayer, and as Brother Lawrence puts it, continual prayer, is another way to open ourselves up to God's presence and to His reality. I love how, in Foster's passage he says, "This with-God life takes no time, yet it occupies all of our time." That is so true! To open oneself to continual conversation with God and to find God, who is true reality, manifested in the present moment, applying the teachings of Jesus directly in our lives, is something that we can do while doing our most ordinary tasks and chores. In Brother Lawrence's book he mentioned many times to others that his prayer time differed very little from his everyday ordinary moments of doing his many tasks, mostly in the kitchen, at the monastery. He was in sync with God, within and outside of conventional prayer.

It takes awhile to get into the custom of seeking God and experiencing Him continually throughout one's day through experiencing His presence and through prayer. Some don't think it possible, but my opinion differs from theirs. I'm not going to even give the illusion that I live that way. But I know it is possible because of those who have walked the ancient paths of faith before us. Those like Brother Lawrence, whose book I highly recommend, who can help aid us in beginning our journey towards experiencing God ever deeper with each passing day.


Heavenly Father,

Thank you for being the kind of God that we can get to know. The God that opens His arms to His children, beckoning them to draw near. Give us the strength and direction, the focus and prompting from the Spirit, to seek you continually, to grow with you. I pray that with each passing day we enter deeper in our understanding of you and experience you in new ways. May our lives serve as living testimonies of your grace, your mercy and love. May we always seek to bring you glory, honor and praise.

In Jesus' name,
Amen