My atheism defines what I am not. I am not a deist.
My Pantheism defines what I am. I love the world.
I believe that my lack of a belief in a creator god frees me to enjoy the Universe in a different way. The shift in conceptual thinking enables me to cherish and appreciate the world for what it is. It's unpurposeful. The world has order, structure, and design, but these are without purpose, and without “creation”.
The Universe just is, and though we can define it by the laws of gravity and other physical phenomenon, it has no beginning and no end. It's “being” is likely a fluke, a statistical error. A matter/anti-matter imbalance. Like a bubble of air on the surface of plain water.
Vacuum creates life. Something does come from nothing, just as creativity and productivity come from sloth and laziness—from relaxation.
The idea of a creator god is a concept I want to fully escape, a dead weight I wish to drop. When I think of Pantheism I do not want to think in terms of “The Universe = God”, because this is misleading and untrue. Instead, “The Universe = Itself”. We are itself. We are the Universe. There is nothing standing outside of it guiding it, creating it, governing it. It governs itself.
It nurtures itself.
The creator god concept is a trapping that dictates a god, or gods, created the world. It is based on the hierarchy of royalty, of power, of human government, as well as the parent role. To believe in a god is to follow that god's laws. Laws that are often arbitrary, but invoke the wrath of the god if not followed, and the blessings of the god if followed. Just as a parent loves a child only if the child behaves, otherwise the child is disciplined harshly.
This belief system goes against my world view. I would much rather believe the Universe has no creator, and that I (and all other sentient beings) evolved only to be aware of itself. Ourselves and itself are one, of course. This makes for a very spontaneous, genuine, and relaxing Cosmos. I have no fear of going to Hell if I fail, and I no longer twist myself into perfection to get to heaven.
When I help someone, it is because I genuinely care about them, and not because I'm doing what I am told. (It is incredibly offensive to me that people help each other only because they have to. This is not genuine or spontaneous, and not very positive as it is conditional.)
The Universe is without judgment. Watch anything, be aware of it. Whether it is a plane, a car, a tree, a mountain. There is no judgment. Looking at the world without preconceived notions, you will not find the trappings of philosophy man has come to cherish. God is not to be found in awareness. There is, however, a great wonder of life that will always be found in awareness, though it is confused with many things, often times with “God” by people who hold to the creator god concept.
Looking at the world without preconceptions is vital to my world view. I have discovered that nothing man “believes” in can be found there. Our philosophies are not in awareness. Our rules are not in awareness. Our concepts are not in awareness. Awareness is a great emptiness.
Without preconceptions, I am able to see the world as it truly is. It is whole, one, nonjudgmental and most importantly, nurturing. The world IS. This isness is an incredible thing, a beautiful thing.
I am. You are. We are.
I do not want to take the world for granted. The creator god concept opens the door to losing the world as we produce a mental concept of something outside and larger than the world. So we take for granted the rivers, the trees, the animals, our technology, ourselves, each other. This is not a problem only for the creator god concept. All concepts cause us to lose focus on the world. Only in awareness, without preconceptions, can we fully live.
Because God created the world, the world is unnatural, and humans see anything as unnatural as unnuturing. But by seeing a world where everything is natural, everything becomes nurturing. The cold stones of mountains and the lifeless engines of automobiles become parts of a lively, symbiotic relationship.
It has taken me many years to drop the creator god concept, but not because it has been ingrained deep in my psyche since I was a young child.
To escape one's way of thinking, one must have something to escape to. I lacked that destination. It was difficult for me, for many years, to see the Universe as giving and loving without a god to give and love.
But then I began to look without preconceptions. I began to see simple things. Nothing cosmic. Nothing grand. I saw blankets on a bed, shoes, my computer and guitar. I saw how these things helped me, made my life easier and more enjoyable. I began to think back to history. Was nature really a terrible place, something mankind had to constantly fight against? Or was nature a provider?
I saw sticks and stones that could be made into hunting tools. I thought of fire, not as a destructive force, but life giving, providing heat, protection, and food. I began to see that nature gave ancient man everything it needed, not just to survive and get by, but to thrive and prosper.
When we were cold we found something to keep us warm. When we were thirsty there were fresh streams. When we were hungry there were berries, fruit, and deer. When we were bored we had all the world to play in. When we were hurt or sick and in pain, to weak to heal, we were offered death. A final escape of suffering. Mercy.
I don't see myself as fighting against this world, because I am the world. I've dropped the idea that I am separate from the world. I no longer believe that I belong to God, that this world is just a barrier between me and Him. I no longer see Earth as a waiting room to stay before I'm rewarded with Heaven. I won't waste my days waiting for my afterlife.
I'm there already. This is Heaven.
Concepts are only lines in the sand. Let the ocean wash them away. Live.