Pride's Passing

Humility lit the spark
ego provided fertile timber
And on that sordid pile
of fleshy wood and flame
Pride breathed her last
'neath Love's fierce ember.

 "I'm happy and that makes me think that I'm either going crazy because who would be happy with all that I am going through..? Or on to something. I just have let go of so much of my ego lately that I can't help but feel my soul has a lighter load to bear. I feel a bit more liberated. "

That is what I wrote recently to a friend in response to the inquiry of how my day was going. Things have been challenging lately.  I know many of you can relate and have no doubt even more struggles than myself. It can take all the strength  we can muster sometimes to stay positive in and not get seduced by this reality of dancing illusions that catches our fancy and plunges us down the alleyways of delusion. To block the razor sharp arrows skillfully aimed and hurtling at the small pockets of peace we try to build around ourselves and our families. Often I take heart in the law of impermanence.... This too shall pass...this too shall pass...

An awareness of choice broke through my consciousness yesterday as I was taking a shower.  I have been in a difficult situation and it's easy sometimes to allow myself to get overwhelmed by it. To help solve the situation there were things I needed to do and say which would require me to lay down my pride and take up the banner of humility. Not always an easy thing to do. However, by doing so, the problem would find its solution and I would be helping someone I loved.

I thought about pride, how it's a symptom of the ego, and how it only binds us to suffering. I could tangibly feel and observe the energy of pride within me and it felt like a burden. I breathed it in deep and then exhaled and merely, with intention,  let it go...let it all go...Realizing its longevity in my consciousness was a choice. It was such a liberating moment spiritually. Immediately a deep peace came to me. Conceiving a beautiful joy it infected any seeds of negativity with spores of light that caused all darkness to flee in that moment.

It was a spiritual experience that provided me the hope and clarity I needed that morning. The clarity that I am not my thoughts, not my emotions, but that eternity rests within the center of my consciousness longing to shine outwards. The hope that, as with my attachment to pride I could someday recognize and release myself gradually of all other attachments that bind me to my ego. That, if I allowed it, this could be a real step in my spiritual progress. 


In the Bhagavad Gita 15.5 it says:

Not deluded by pride, free from selfish attachment and selfish desire, beyond the duality of pleasure and pain, ever aware of the Self, the wise go forward to that eternal goal.  (Eknath Easwaran's translation)

Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada says in the purport to his translation of the Bhagavad Gita As It Is, "When one is free from the delusion caused by pride, he can begin the process of surrender."


I have come to accept the truth that to find the Truth one must surrender one's self-will.  How else can we achieve the objectivity and clarity to perceive things as they truly are? Pride is certainly a component of self-will. This is an idea that has been echoed throughout the ages by the world's mystics. I have a long way to go and very well might never fully achieve this goal in this life, but I feel there is no greater endeavor for me to embark on than this one. The more we empty ourselves of self-will the more the mirrors within us that reflect the Divinity within will be scraped clean. The more we empty ourselves the more we will be filled with God's love which we then can extend to those around us. The more we rid ourselves of the desires and attachments that we think bring us happiness but only breed misery the more we cultivate the desire within ourselves to draw closer to God and when that happens all around us benefit.

"As our desire to draw closer to the Lord within us deepens, it draws self-centered desires into it like tributaries into a great river. The power of that love swells until it becomes cataclysmic; we begin to inspire other people through the transformation we have wrought in ourselves."
 
~ Eknath Easwaran, Original Goodness

 Releasing oneself of pride clears the pathway to forgiveness, reconciliation and peace.  I feel really blessed to have witnessed the death of pride within me and only feel relieved at its passing. Now I just have about a million more other attachments to release myself of! :)

 
What  attachment(s) have you recently let go of or are working on releasing yourself of? Please share in the comments section! Thank you!

Boredom's Abode

Recently the realization dawned on me that it's been quite awhile since I've been bored. In the past there would be periods of time when I'd be infused with a restless energy and yet see no avenue in which to channel it. Even when I seemed to have plenty of legitimate things to do. Boredom would permeate deep into my consciousness, dulling my awareness and stifling my sense of peace. I'm not sure about anyone else but I particularly don't find boredom to be a favorable condition.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines boredom as, "the state of being weary or restless through lack of interest." We are restless yet are unable to focus and become engaged on any one particular pursuit. Boredom is a condition that has the potential to breed misery as it gives rise to dark waters thick with obscure anxieties and random thoughts that infect our actions with their toxicity causing us to bear bitter fruit. I wonder how many destructive habits are first conceived in  boredom's fertile womb which teems turbulently with a quagmire of restless energy impregnated with the mundane and illusory?

I have been practicing passage meditation, mindfulness and mantram repetition for some time now and though I have had glimpses of insights and have encountered sporadic spiritual experiences and often share those here, I had not realized until recently how my whole perception of life has been altered. Not just my perception of life but how I am living life itself.  In a way much like how one would adjust the settings on a telescope to sharpen the image of the object desired to be viewed, both my gross senses-those which perceive the tangible manifestations of God's energy playing itself out in the material world and my inner senses-the receptors in my consciousness able to receive and open up to His Divine presence, have been sharpened and defined. Making life anything but boring.

To have one-pointed attention at the task in hand is part of Eknath Easwaran's eight point program . To experience life, now, as it happens, and not be caught up by fleeting thoughts, brings rise to an amazing transformation of perspective.  Nature itself brings my heart to its knees in wonder at the miracles and wonders that resound in every cell and complex process that defines our physical world. Every leaf, every droplet of water, brings a sense of awe. Even in life's most darkest moments I am finding appreciation and beauty. And  hope. For with each new breath we take is a new beginning. I am learning that to be present fully is to live fully.

Being fully present not only reaps the benefit of being able to view each moment with a renewed sense of gratitude but using that technique to apply it in pursuing our tasks helps those tasks, however seemingly banal, become more engaging. Not being caught up in non-related thoughts and being subjected to a state of "monkey mind", we are able to conserve greater amounts of energy to devote to the task at hand. This causes us to perform our actions with greater precision and devotion while noticing the details that we once might have missed. 

It is often in the intervals between specific tasks where we get swept up in thoughts that toss us to and fro like the waves of the ocean. Battering our fragile consciousnesses against merciless rocks that jut out within the landscape of our soul's interior.  It's easy at times like those to become too fragmented and distracted to ever become focused enough to be firmly situated in a state that is fixed on God or the present. At that point it's easy to become restless. What to do, what to do..and we look towards trivial and mundane pursuits to appease the restless energy that taunts us.  Times like these can get the best of anyone. I know they've gotten the best of me in the past. One common example I think that many of us can be subject to, is to eat when we are bored. I know exactly when my children are getting bored. They ask for a snack! Of course there are times when they do need a snack but if they've recently had one and I can visibly see their interest in an activity tapering off I can almost guarantee that soon I will hear a request for one! Over-eating and other unsavory habits are certainly prompted along by boredom.

This is where my mantram has saved me. I could write about it all day. It has become so integral in every area of my life. Many a time it has proven to be the savior of my sanity as it has anchored me to peace and bliss. Between moments of one-pointed attention I draw forth my mantram.  Like a sword it slices through illusion freeing me from spiritual lethargy. Depending on the atmosphere where I find myself, if I'm in public or alone, I either chant it vocally or internally. And if I am alone I often implement the aid of my japa beads to keep count and maintain focus.  Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare/Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare  Meditating on the names of God, I find myself anchored to the present and lift my thoughts and heart up to Him. In return,  a sense of clarity and peace wash my heart clean of its residual stains of attachment and I feel as if my heart is drinking the most luscious elixir, one that could only find its source from  the Divine. Such a transcendental exchange leaves boredom's abode safely tucked into the shadowy folds of the past.

In conclusion, the absence of boredom was an unexpected, albeit very welcomed,  byproduct of my spiritual disciplines. So my personal formula to eradicate boredom is a combination of mindfulness and chanting/mantram repetition. Do you have a method that helps you stay focused and attentive throughout your day? I'd love to hear it in the comments section. Thanks!

 
Thoughts? I'd love to hear them. Please share in the comments section. Thank you!

* More information on mantram meditation/chanting can be found  on my previous post: here . 

Easwaran Revisited: The Power of the Mantram

It's the Sunday before Christmas and I'm up at dawn trying to steal a few minutes of solitude before the first of my two kids saunter sleepily down the staircase, rubbing weary eyes and asking for something warm to eat for breakfast on this chill winter's morning. The next twelve hours or so are going to be busy ones as my husband and I intend to start and finish all of our Christmas shopping.

I breathe deep, letting the air expand my lungs, a glorious feeling, and then exhale feeling my muscles relax. I woke up to my mantram this morning. "Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.", resonating from the depths of my subconscious and rising upward, ushering me into a new day with peace.  This short prayer has been used by the Eastern Orthodox church for ages to center oneself in the presence of God and is one of the mantrams that Eknath Eswaran suggests to practice for those who follow his teachings.

It's been a couple of weeks since I've published my review of Eknath Easwaran's book, Original Goodness, and I've been meaning to write more about how his teachings have had a profound impact on my daily living.  There is much I'd like to write, but I'll first start with sharing Easwaran's idea of repeating a mantram, since I woke up to mine this morning and will be thrusting it foreward in a line of defense against the stresses and distractions of the day that often have a way of stealing peace. This simple practice is easy to incorporate into anyone's spiritual disciplines regardless of their particular religion or belief system.  In fact, it is found in all of them.

I will let Easwaran describe his definition of what a mantram is as an introduction. You can read his book, Passage Meditation, on his website for free. (www.easwaran.org) In one part of it, he writes:

A mantram is a spiritual formula of enormous power that has been transmitted from age to age in a religious tradition. The users, wishing to draw upon this power that calms and heals, silently repeat the words  as often as possible during the day, each repetition adding to their physical and spiritual well-being....The mantram, repeated regularly for a long time, enables us to cross the sea of the mind.

In that same section, Easwaran quotes Gandhi's thoughts on mantrams:

The mantram becomes one’s staff of life and carries one through every ordeal. It is not repeated for the sake of repetition, but for the sake of purification, as an aid to effort. It is no empty repetition. For each repetition has a new meaning, carrying you nearer and nearer to God.

 A mantram is not just empty words repeated without reflection, but while repeating the sacred words one allows them, as Easwaran  has often described, to "drop like pearls into the depths of one's subconscious". It anchors us to the present moment while allowing the spiritual beauty of our mantram's sentiment to blossom within the depths of our consciousness sewing seeds that bear fruit for moments yet to come.

In his book, Original Goodness, Easwaran has described this ancient practice as a spiritual investement that helps us store our energy. Most often our energy is wasted in the futility of wandering thoughts that take the form of brooding about perceived wrongs and injustices inflicted on us as well as anxiety and other negative emotions that steal our sense of peace and empathy towards others, clouding our clarity towards situations. 

When we are immersed in our mantram in the present moment, our energy is not spent playing our ego's senseless  games of merry-go-round that flip flop our emotions and toss our thoughts to and fro. Instead, our energy is focused and more apt to respond in love towards others and not with the hurtful words that so often are elicited in moments of unbridled frustration and anger.  Opportunities for reconcilation flourish as the reptition of the mantram creates space for edifying moments of loving kindness to arise. Instead of burning bridges between ourselves and others, we begin to build them, gracefully gilding them with the gleam of understanding framed with  the strong foundation of love.

I have seen the tangible fruits of this practice take form right before me as I've applied it in my daily living. My children have chosen a mantram of their own and I have seen, as I've helped them learn to apply it, moments of frustration and anger, like raging waves of emotion threatening to rise up in a perfect storm,  be transformed to moments that calmly ripple with a gentle peace and quiet joy. My children's chosen mantram is "Om mani padme hum", and is one of the Buddhist mantrams that Easwaran recommends. It truly amazes me how this mantram has worked wonders in wedging itself into the the fulcrum of moments, between stimulus and response, and has birthed spontaneous peace.

Right now I am recalling just a couple of days ago when  my children were angrily lashing out at each other in a dispute where the concept of sharing was being questioned. I was ready to just lose my temper entirely when I remembered the mantram and the opportunity that I was being presented with in that moment. I drew both my children close to me and took a deep breath, telling them to calm down and just breathe. It took a few moments, but we all ended up just being close to one another, just breathing.  I then reminded them of their mantram and they began to repeat it with one another. Tears dried as anger turned to empathy and unprompted apologies were exchanged. Smiles formed on their faces and it was as if the entire dispute dissipated as they cheerfully broke free and returned to their desired activity, this time sharing without any further discussion or conflict, the toy that caused the chaos in the first place.

The repetition of the mantram does not come very naturally to most at first and does require a sense of dedication in pursuing.  It's an effort to even remember to practice it at times when you first begin the practice! I often start the morning practicing it when I take my dogs out for their first walk of the day, trying to lay a foundation for continuing on with it during the rest of the day.

Easwaran reflects his experience of initially practicing the repetition of the mantram and his eventual success in assimilating it as a permanent fixture in his present moments.

" This does require determination, I admit. I used to hunt through my days for opportunities to repeat the Holy Name (mantram), scavengig leisure moments like those curious characters who dowse for buried treasures at the beach, scanning every inch of sand with a metal detector at the end of a long wand. It calls for a great deal of patience, but the effort pays off. Today, because of all that effort, I no longer have to make myself repeat the Holy Name. It repeats itself, warding off every negative state of mind."

  ~ Original Goodness, 53-54

I would highly recommend  anybody that wants to enter into a deeper awareness of God and experience more peace and clarity to consider adding the repetition of the mantram to his/her spiritual disciplines. To view all of the suggested mantrams that Easwaran recommends check out his page of suggested mantrams: http://www.easwaran.org/mantrams-recommended-by-easwaran.html

Easwaran does instruct the practitioner to end up choosing one mantram and not to use more than one in his practices, so be sure to find which one suits you best.  His site also includes all the free information anyone could possibly want in becoming familiar with and beginning to practice his teachings. I hope you have fun exploring it!

Thoughts? I'd love to hear them! Please leave them in the comments section. Thank you!

* Since writing this article my mantram has changed to Om Namah Shivaya. I was pretty early on in the practice and I don't think it's uncommon to play with mantrams a bit to see what fits best. Anyways, do you have a mantram? If so, please share what it is!