The Battle to Believe

Faith isn't always warm and fuzzy. Sometimes our walks seem to take us off course, down twisted alleyways that are dark. Journeying down these byways with a naked soul is painful, as they are littered with broken glass, nails and other destructive impediments. Sometimes it's as if our soul bleeds, wounded by the world, our own sins and even at times others in the body of Christ. Sometimes even when we try to keep our gaze on Jesus a fog, heavy and oppressive settles all around us and a darkness like no other finds it's hold on our souls. It's during those times when our resolve can falter, our focus diminish.

In our pursuit for truth it's possible to lose site of our hope in God as we can become conflicted more with the many questions we have than caught up in the awe of the revelation of God's glory. There are times when we just can't feel His presence and for those who seek God with all their hearts that can be a dreadful and dark time indeed.  Disbelief can start to invade our thoughts and infect our souls with it's unwanted whisperings.  God uses this time to stretch us and also draw us towards Him in deeper ways and will eventually spare us of our anguish when we finally release ourselves of our own egos and trust in Him with the simplicity akin to the faith a child has in his or her parent.

Many times this juncture in our faith can be described as the "Dark Night". I've written an article about it: http://ascendingthehills.blogspot.com/search/label/dark%20night

The following is a song composed and sung by a freelance pastor and facebook friend of mine, David Hayward. He is also a gifted cartoonist and artist. You'll find one of his cartoons on the bottom of this page if you scroll down :) I feel he captures much of the emotion and experience of one going through such a time. I know I could relate to this song. Check out his website: www.nakedpastor.com

God has a wonderful way of producing peace in the hearts of His children. Sometimes we make the tragic mistake of, when we fail to feel that peace, believing He has abandoned us and a real battle for belief can be a result.The good news is even when we are drawn to our knees, feeling hollow and empty, far from His presence and completely alone and wounded by others, our soul crying out "are you there?" to our God, we can be rest assured that He is! For His Word assures us He never leaves us. If we meditate on that truth  and "hang on His Word", standing firm and letting grief, loneliness, emptiness, wash over us and eventually dissipate, we will walk out of this dark time much stronger than we were when we entered it.  

Here are some Bible promises that we can cling to during such times:

Romans 8:37-38 
 ³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

John 10:28

²⁸ I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.

Isaiah 43:13

"From eternity to eternity I am God. No one can snatch anyone out of my hand. No one can undo what I have done."

Hebrews 13:5b

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Have you ever found yourself at a juncture in your faith where disbelief crept in and threatened the stability of your walk with God? If so, what did you do, or perhaps even better put, what did God do, to help pull you out of such a dark night and into the dawn of a new day?

Bearing Fruit Despite the Storm

Desert mother Amma Theodora wrote, "Let us strive to enter by the narrow gate. Just as the trees if they have not stood before the winter's storms cannot bear fruit, so it is with us; this present age is a storm and it is only through many trials and temptations that we can obtain an inheritance in the kingdom of heaven."
                             ~ Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Radicals, p. 100



Life is full of challenges, hardships, trials and snares just vying for our attention. It's easy to take our eyes off of Jesus and buy into the illusions of this world, as if they matter more in our off guarded moments of desperation and pain than our focus on God.

In moments where life's pressures and concerns seem to crowd around me and threaten to suffocate the spiritual life within I find it extremely helpful to not only rely on conversational prayer but to turn to praying God's promises that He gives us in His Word. They are a source of encouragement, hope and comfort.

Here are some verses I find particularly helpful during troubling times where sometimes it is even difficult to pray. Sometimes our hearts and our minds are numb due to the pressures and pain in our lives and we need God's Word to help soften and melt our hearts once again. If you have verses that you have found particularly comforting or encouraging, please share them in the comments section with everyone :)

Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (2) Therefore we will not fear though the earth should change, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; (3) though its waters roar and foam , though the mountains tremble with its tumult.

Psalm 56: 13 For thou has delivered my soul from death, yea, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.

Psalm 37: 28 For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his saints.

Psalm 34:7 The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers him.

Psalm 34:22 The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.

Heavenly Father,

During times when the storms around us seem to be raging let your light manifest ever brighter and more strongly within us, anchoring us to your presence that covers and inundates us with your peace and love. May we stay focused on you as the snares try to trip us up  and temptations try to court our inner desires and cause us to fall in our walks. May we stand strong in the light and truth of your promises and bring glory to your name.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever.

Amen.