Welcome: An Introduction

Sharing the insights I discover as I explore and experience the mystery that is our reality. Join me in my journey and share yours.




Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Turning Point: Heading in a New Direction (My Response to Recent Questions from Readers)






Throughout the last couple of months a number of my readers have asked me to write a post clarifying my position as to what my beliefs are. Such a clarification, some have said, would help them and other readers understand the perspective I come from when writing my posts.  

I think my last post alluded somewhat to the perspective I have been gravitating to spiritually. However, what I think those who have expressed inquiries into my beliefs really want to know is what I would label myself as. Am I still a Christian? Am I a pantheist, a Hindu? For I have spoken fondly and reverently of Sri Krishna as expressed through the Bhagavad Gita and have quoted numerous times in the past from the Upanishads, stating that I get much spiritual direction reading from them as well as from works like the Tao te Ching. I have also expressed my belief that all of life is interconnected and have shared my slow turning away from the idea in a personal God. And yet my mentioning of religions that do express a personal belief of God tends to leave some of my readers perplexed as to where I personally stand.

I can only say that at this point  my beliefs are fluid and continually evolving. I readily admit that I simply don't have everything figured out yet and am unable to put myself in one camp or another, subscribing to this or that label.  Though it can be uncomfortable to proceed from the ever-shifting vantage point of fluidity, it is the only way I seem to be able to proceed spiritually with any genuine sense of authenticity and certainty. Yes, what a paradox; I find a degree of certainty in the very state of uncertainty! Maybe that can be compared to finding permanence in impermanence.

Never before have I been able to relate more to these words of Alan Watts, found in his book "The Wisdom of Insecurity" on page 24.

"But you cannot understand life and its mysteries as long as you try to grasp it. Indeed, you cannot grasp it, just as you cannot walk off with a river in a bucket. If you try to capture running water in a bucket, it is clear that you do not understand it and that you will always be disappointed, for in the bucket the water does not run. To "have" running water you must let go of it and let it run. The same is true of life and of God. "

While I can see beauty in what many religions and spiritual paths have to offer, especially the Eastern ones,  I think that trying to subscribe to any one of them would make it only a matter of time before I was branded a heretic by followers in whichever one I tried to follow. So deeply is skepticism woven into my very nature. As soon as I think I have found a path that perhaps I can align myself with, doubts and questions taunt me and I find what I perceive as flaws in the presuppositions that define them. I think my days of subscribing to any organized religion may be over.

I believe to pursue the truth with any sense of integrity means to do away with all presuppositions. I can't help but feel restricted spiritually by the artificial boundaries that  religions seem to erect.  I immediately feel compelled to test them and eventually go beyond them.  Some seem to find comfort with recognizing and accepting these boundaries and I respect, honor and sometimes envy that. I, on the other hand, find myself feeling rather claustrophobic at the idea of them.  


I tend to view God/reality as something bearing a lot more depth than religions generally express. I believe that throughout the various  wisdom traditions  there have been mystics who have had deep revelations into the true nature of man and the universe. These revelations have undoubtedly been the inspiration to truths that many religions have found ways of turning superficial. Perhaps my current perspective is a strength,  maybe it will lead to my ultimate spiritual demise. More than a few have voiced the idea that it will lead to my eternal separation from God, even to hell.  Those are repercussions, though, that I do not fear. For God, whom I equate with reality, is closer to me than my very self. Separation from God is impossible for "He" is found at our nature's core.  That, I do believe whole-heartedly. And I no longer believe in hell. So, that is also not a concern as I move forward.


So, after all of this, where exactly am I at? I am at the point where I am merely enjoying the act of learning as much as I can about different religions and philosophies for the sake of exploring the underlying parallels that can be found between them. I am concentrating my studies more on the various Eastern philosophies and religions, particularly Buddhism, Taoism and Hinduism.  I see all of reality as being interconnected; as an ever changing and infinite organism of interrelated parts.

I am enjoying the spiritual disciplines of chanting, meditation and mindfulness. I believe that the truth can be revealed to us experientially in the present moment and that we can train our minds to become more and more aware of the presen through spiritual disciplines but we need not be bound to them. I view them as tools; sometimes they are helpful and sometimes they can be a hindrance. Oftentimes what is needed is the letting go of all effort. It is then that understanding breaks upon one's consciousness. Sort of like how when you are looking for something you end up finding it when you stop looking for it. I have found immense value and inspiration in the Bhagavad Gita, the Upanishads, the writings of Alan Watts and Eknath Easwaran as well as philosophers like Ken Wilber whose philosophy of spiral dynamics in particular has helped me understand the direction my journey is taking me.

I know this blog started off as one that held a strictly Christian theme. That has certainly changed! I hope that readers will bear with this change as my perspective continually evolves and my understanding hopefully deepens.
As a result of my changing views, this blog has now reached a turning point in terms of the material it will cover and is heading in a new direction. I plan on continuing to write about different religions and philosophies even though I might not subscribe to them because I believe it's important for all of us to develop a deeper understanding and empathy into what people believe in order to begin to not only see the similarities that we all have with one another but also to have a healthy appreciation for the differences. 

 I also am looking forward to introducing some new content into this blog from other fields of study other than just religion and philosophy like, for example, neuroscience, psychology and astrophysics.  I think these areas of study are also essential in exploring when trying to ascertain a more complete view of reality.

I look forward to sharing my next post which will relate the experience I recently had of attending a Shin Buddhist meditation meeting.

Thoughts? I'd love to hear them. Please leave them in the comments section! Thank you!

23 comments:

  1. Hi Jessica,this was such an honest post and straight from the heart. I have seen a change in your blog over the last couple of months and it looks like you are currently exploring all aspects of religion. I hope you will find answers on this very interesting path that you are now exploring.

    Have a blessed day!
    Nelieta

    nelmitravel

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    1. Thank you so much Nelieta for stopping by. Yes, things have changed considerably and I thank you for your well wishes on my journey and look forward to sharing more with you and others as I continue. Thank you for your encouragement.

      ~ blessings ~

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  2. J - I am somewhat new to your writing so I am not qualified to say one way or another, but what I have read in my time here I've enjoyed and found it stays with me during my days.

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    1. Thank you Brenda, I'm really glad what you read here resonates and that you enjoy it. I visited your blog yesterday and absolutely loved it! You have a definite talent that many recognize. I look forward to reading more on your blog and sharing with you here on mine.

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  3. Nicely stated Jessica. I think it is hard for us to use words appropriately when we also know that the meaning of so many of them are so varied. Your wording is strong in that they have continuity of form. I am not a poet by trade but I love the process of discovery and to see it happen in the realm of perception is wonderful. Your perception has been in change. You have trusted your self and this is the result.
    I started to grow my being in a deliberate way around my young teen days. It took me a long time to see through the religion of Catholicism. Being brought up a Catholic. But I am profoundly happy that I peeked out of the story line I was given. I can not go back. It would be bothersome to me in a way that would cause me to believe I have failed myself. So I continue on.
    But to relate a seeming contradiction that is caught up in words for the thinker in us.
    Imagine as you stand wherever you are. That there you are at the top of the planet. You look straight up. You understand that there is a universe of space that is profoundly huge going on forever.. Now imagine that you can look below through the planet and you see there is also space going on for ever. again in any direction you look space goes on forever. So are you in the center of this universe? For if space is infinite in all directions then you are in the center. But the contradiction comes in when we think of this being also true of all others in this world. For the truth is true to everyone.
    Is this a problem of words or of perception?
    Well I hope you find this interesting.. I found your story a fine one..
    Thank You for your post..

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    1. I really loved this response for its depth and thoughtfulness. Thank you. :)

      "I think it is hard for us to use words appropriately when we also know that the meaning of so many of them are so varied. Your wording is strong in that they have continuity of form."

      Thank you. :) I do agree that words can be problematic, especially when trying to express ideas when it comes to areas that are more abstract, like spirituality, philosophy, etc. Your comment made me think of these words from Alan Watts,

      " My problem as a writer, using words, is to dispel the illusions of language while employing one of the languages that generates them."
      ~The Book on the Taboo of Knowing Who You Are", p.45


      "But I am profoundly happy that I peeked out of the story line I was given. I can not go back. It would be bothersome to me in a way that would cause me to believe I have failed myself. So I continue on."

      I could definitely relate to these words. :)

      I found the rest of what you wrote interesting indeed and worthy of more reflection. Thank you for making me think. I hope you come back to visit again.

      ~ namaste~

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  4. "For God, whom I equate with reality, is closer to me than my very self. Separation from God is impossible for "He" is found at our nature's core."
    As you explore the various religions, their beliefs, and their disciplines, Jessica, never let go of what you stated here. God truly dwells within us when we invite Him in, but I believe we are always a part of Him whether we ever realize that or not.
    May your spiritual journey be one of discovery and blessings. I look forward to your sharing your thoughts and reflections here.
    Blessings to you, my friend!

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    1. Thank you Martha...You've always been an inspiring source of encouragement. :)

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  5. Enchanting and brilliant, as always, dear friend.
    Namaste. ^/|\^

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  6. Ive recently trying to return to meditation and my own contemplations on faith. At some points in life it may be needed more than at others.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Sandra. I definitely think reflection towards the spiritual can be something that ebs and flows. Meditation can be hard to be consistent with. I've learned to let go of attempting a consistent routine, because I find it distracting from my overall goal. Mindfulness, just being in the present, has been probably the most transforming practice for me, even more so than sitting meditation, and is something I can practice no matter what I'm doing during the day.

      Thanks for sharing. :)

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  7. Jessica I have been reading your blog from the beginning and I can see the change in your thoughts and your search to learn more about yourself. I agree with you. We should be always fluid and open to learn and grow. I am a Hindu by religion but if you ask me I have no religion, only faith in a power. I am not ritualistic or religious.I have no opinion on any religion. Each to his own I believe and I respect that. Loved your honesty and openness my friend

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    1. Thank you so much Rimly. You have such a beautiful heart. :) I have a lot of respect towards Hinduism and have been drawn towards investigating that path deeply in the past. I have read the Bhagavad Gita countless times and have memorized passages from it...and each time I do I get something new from it.
      Thanks for stopping by. :)

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  8. Dear Jessica,
    thank you for such wonderful post!
    All religions are man-made, they are just different ways of life and attempts to understand the wonder of existance and its purpose.Though as human beings we all are equal, yet every one has his unique identity, his own character, his own likes and dislikes. any religion is just like that. It is after all a personal choice and I don't know why we make such an issue of it. This foolishness has caused so much damage in the forms of 'crusades', 'jehads','inquisitions',and 'genocides' and yet, even in this twentyfirst century ,we like or hate a person only on the basis of his religion. Oh, God!...or perhaps God is also fed up with our foolishness and thats why He has left us to cut each other's throat!
    I, for myself, will never offer such explaination about my Faith. I am what I am, accapt me or leave me alone!
    -Poet Desh

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    1. Thank you Poet Desh for your thoughtful response. I couldn't agree more!

      "All religions are man-made, they are just different ways of life and attempts to understand the wonder of existance and its purpose."

      Yes! My sentiments exactly. :)

      ~ namaste~

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  9. Dear Jessica,
    I am so happy that you've taken my comments in the right manner and that was not unexpected since you have a noble heart which is reflected through your each and every word. BTW, I am also a devotee of Lord Krishna, but I love Him as a naughty child! And we (especially my wife) celebrate His'birthday' in that fashion only !
    with best wishes,
    -Poet Desh

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    1. No doubt you delight God with your spiritually naughty disposition for the whole cosmos reels and dances with a mischievous and playful nature.
      ~ namaste~

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  10. Dear Jessica,

    I've noticed the path of your heart going through some changes since I first started reading you. As I watch your personal evolution, I also appreciate the reflection of the whole of Gaia intrinsic within its essence. Thank you for linking me to this important post so I could celebrate your milestone with you ;-*

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    1. I thank you Linda for stopping by and sharing in my reflections.

      "the whole of Gaia intrinsic within its essence"...That's a very perceptive way of reading it...:)Much love and light to you and yours.
      ~blessings~

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  11. Jessica, I have noticed the change in your writing content as well, although I haven't questioned anything. 'Religious' freedom is one of the freedoms we as Americans can still enjoy. I do not equate my relationship with God a 'religion' though. I view it as my faith. From faith brings trust...it is a conduit from God to us as His children. I believe that the Bible is the Word of God to His children and in order to truly understand what His plan for me in His story of my life is to be, I need to study it; know it; understand it. In doing that, it leaves little time for the study of other faiths, nor do I know that I would be interested in doing that. I'm learning everyday that there is something new to be learned from the Bible itself, and it does also teach about other faiths as well. I commend you for having the interest to learn and understand theology. I do pray that you get it all figured out for yourself. At some point,you will have to take a stand in what you believe. If you believe that Jesus died for your sins and that He will return for His children, then you already know this ♥♥♥

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    1. Thank you Mary for your thoughtful and thorough response. I agree in that there is lots to learned from the Bible and one could no doubt spend a whole life time in studying it alone. I find your faith a beautiful one. :)

      "At some point,you will have to take a stand in what you believe."


      That's the thing. At this point in my journey, I'm not sure if I have to do that. I know what I'm not certain of and what I believe to be false. To find the artificial amidst the genuine seems to be one way of ascertaining the truth.

      "If you believe that Jesus died for your sins and that He will return for His children, then you already know this."

      As of right now I tend to view Jesus and the resurrection as symbolism. Of illustrating the need to die to our egos in order to discover God within us. I believe Jesus very well might have been a misunderstood mystic.

      Thank you again for stopping by. :)

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  12. I might be blind or something because I do not see anything that could have deviated from something else. I have seen 'growth and development' from your reflections. Something that digs deeper, explores. I see faith coming to sense and aliveness.

    And I am very glad because you are so generous to take us along with you through your journey :)





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