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Sharing the insights I discover as I explore and experience the mystery that is our reality. Join me in my journey and share yours.




Sunday, March 2, 2014

A Moment






Driving home today from a visit with my grandfather I had what I could only consider to be a profound spiritual experience. It was like someone cut a vein open deep within me and I became like an empty vessel and all of life was flowing through and around me, washing me with its brilliance, pain and fury. A  divine humor threading them all together.  My senses took in sounds more audibly and life painted itself into view on a more vivid canvas than ever before.

It's as if my consciousness felt drunk. Not drunk, though, in the way one gets when they wish to forget the world and lose themselves in their chosen poison. No, rather, it's as if I drank to the dregs an elixir that intoxicated my spirit to a degree in which reality filled every fiber of my being. I began to feel a combination of a sort of headiness overpowered by a  surge of energy magnifying and intensifying my awareness of the present. 

It was as if everything I saw was a living poem or story. Volumes and volumes of poems, novels and stories poured out of somewhere deep beneath the depths of my consciousness rising swiftly and momentarily to its surface. It was almost as if I reached a metaphorical hand up and took hold of one of the volumes spilling forth I would be able to turn its pages and read them in full. Creativity churned her mighty waters and pressed through the floodgates of my soul, effortlessly unhinging it and causing  it to swing open. Life presented itself before me and I saw within myself a thousand souls clamoring for attention but past them a bottomless depth of stillness that carried with it the weight but also release of uncertainty. It is there I felt I saw the answer to the riddle of where peace and realization may be found. It is beneath our layers of multiplicity to the core of the present. I swallowed whole these thousands of souls and plunged towards the stillness.

I pulled my car over to a church parking lot I was about to pass. I was nearly home but wanted a few minutes to just sit and be and gather my thoughts. To savor the experience a little longer as it still pulsed through me though more faintly than at its conception.

There were a few scattered cars left but the lot was absent of any other humans. I pressed my head into its rest and breathed deep turning my car momentarily off and  looked up at the church's spire. A line of crosses encircled its base as other ones dotted its exterior on its ascension towards the heavens. One, larger than the rest and the color of gold, adorned its peak- displaying a symbol once so prominent in my past. A symbol that once defined who I was and what I believed. Now, it reflected the sun's radiance and shown brilliantly yet left no impression on my spirit any longer.I found it now more foreign than familiar.

After jotting down some thoughts and taking a few moments to listen to nearby birds that  seemed to be  singing wistfully of warmer days I started the car once again and let it roll away out of the lot. The crosses appearing smaller and smaller as I glanced back at  them in my rear view. My heart was light and my mind eager to try to capture the moments  I just had in prose when I finally made it back home. I hope I was able to do that!


Thoughts? Please consider sharing them in the comments section. Thank you!






24 comments:

  1. Congratulations You had just undergone a religious experience.
    Truths surfacing without evidencing itself.
    Experiences at different realms of your being, coalescing, to give you a narrative that you never thought had existed in you.
    Dont try to validate this event and dont try to objectify it.
    This means that you are totally in tune with your present - totally aware of the world around you- as if it is an extension of you.
    Revel,and dont try to find answers.

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    1. Thank you so much for stopping by pn menon. I enjoyed reading your thoughts towards my experience.

      I shy away from using the term "religious" and usually use spiritual instead due to the fact that I seek to see things with clarity, as they are, and not ascribe any artificial labels or dogma to them. I don't think you were using it in a dogmatic sense, but just thought I'd note that. Semantics! :)

      "This means that you are totally in tune with your present - totally aware of the world around you- as if it is an extension of you."

      That's a nice way of capturing what I felt I was experiencing at that moment. Thanks..I feel you really understand where I was coming from.

      "Revel,and dont try to find answers. "

      That's advice very worthy of taking. I've learned to appreciate my experiences but to let them rise up, take note of them and savor them while they are here, but not to become attached to them or read too much into them, knowing that my interpretations themselves can oftentimes be subjective and illusory.

      Thanks again so much for stopping by. I''d love to hear more of your thoughts in the future. :)

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    2. It is my pleasure to read this post.
      You have conveyed the visual imagery and the state of your inner environment so effortlessly.
      I should have put _religious_ in quote
      I was referring to Schopenhauers view of making a distinction between _religious experience_ and _religion_.
      He remarks that Religion begins where Religious experience ends.


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    3. "I was referring to Schopenhauers view of making a distinction between _religious experience_ and _religion_.
      He remarks that Religion begins where Religious experience ends."

      Oh, I like that! Thank you for clarifying and including that quote. :)

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  2. Jessica, it sounds as though you've just had the kind of experience even most of us who have read literature by and about mystics and have undertaken spiritual or contemplative disciplines can only dream of. It also sounds like the kind of experience one might be able to induce with the right chemical assistance. ;-)

    If I were you, I would savor my memory of the experience and do my best to distill any insights I can garner from it. But as Ken Wilber has repeatedly pointed out, the real, lasting joy lies in turning "altered states into permanent traits" of self-transformation. May that be YOUR joy.

    Oh, and please pay no lasting mind to the seemingly inevitable comment or two to follow concerning how your words about the greatly diminished significance of the cross portends your damnation unless you turn back toward the divine light of Biblianity. ;-)

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    1. I always enjoy when you stop by Steve, thank you. :)

      "It also sounds like the kind of experience one might be able to induce with the right chemical assistance. ;-) "

      Haha yeah, I was thinking of that too. That idea flashed across my awareness shortly after and I thought briefly, "Who needs drugs? That was amazing and elicited without any chemical stimulation whatsoever! Wow..it's amazing what the mind can do!"

      "But as Ken Wilber has repeatedly pointed out, the real, lasting joy lies in turning "altered states into permanent traits" of self-transformation. May that be YOUR joy. "

      Thank you. Very worthy advice. I am going to try my best to do that. If anything, it just encourages me to practice mindfulness consciously even more. When I consciously practice it more frequently I experience more spontaneous moments such as these. Though I have to say I haven't had one quite like this one before. Regardless, it just all feeds my fascination with the present. So much can be found there. It is reality's abode.

      Thank you for your last bit advice. :)

      You have been a constant source of input and encouragement along my journey. I really appreciated reading your thoughts towards my experience. Thank you again.

      ~ Namaste~

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  3. How beautiful your prose is. It really made me feel like I was actually living your experience. I hope this nurtures your core and somehow gives you strength and joy.

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    1. Thank you William. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :)

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  4. Wow, that's incredible, Jessica.

    As I read your post, Yoganandaji's poem Samadhi came into my thoughts. I know it's unwise to attempt to ascribe meaning to something that just is, but that would be my thought on this experience.

    You've likely read it before, but just in case, here's a link:

    http://hellopoetry.com/poem/73979/samadhi/

    Take care,

    Casey

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    1. Thank you so much Casey!

      I actually do not recall having read that poem before and it was something really nice to read this morning. I felt much of it resonate with my experience and appreciate you posting that link.

      I hope you stop again in the future. I'd love to hear more of your thoughts.

      ~ peace~

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  5. You have been given the gift of spiritual insight and awareness. This may have been given this gift from interacting with your wonderful grandfather who's veil between this world and the next is thin. Thank you for sharing this. You are wise beyond your years. Stay on this path and keep sharing your love.

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    1. Thank you for stopping by Benjamin. :)

      "This may have been given this gift from interacting with your wonderful grandfather who's veil between this world and the next is thin."

      That's something I hadn't thought about. Perhaps my interaction with my grandfather did make me more sensitive and receptive to the experience.

      I really appreciated your thoughts. Thanks again. :)

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  6. Thank you for sharing this. It's inspired me to consider sharing my own spiritual experience story. I'm interested to hear what immediately preceded your spiritual experience. Best wishes, and blessings!

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    1. Chris,

      Thanks for stopping by and if you do end up writing about your experience please post the link for it here. I'd love to read it and I know others that come through here might be interested as well!

      Some driving preceded my experience, as well as a visit with my grandfather. That morning, before my visit with him, I had meditated for a short time and started off the day pretty regularly with my kids.

      ~ peace~

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    2. Thank you Jessica. If I write that post, I will share it here! Peace and best wishes

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  7. Rose of Sharon and soothing balm of Gilead..beautiful to behold and preciously calming for the soul..the Kingdom of Heaven is within you...ur darkness is passing and ur true light is already shining..you have been enlightened with the elect remnant who see the world thru another set of eyes.. enjoy it treasure it learn from it even when the glory seems to fade reminesce often and know that there is always more to receive for an open heart seeking to find our infinite creative source..

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    1. Thank you for those thoughts. I'm not sure what any of my experience means other than the feelings of connectedness and feeling truly alive can be sparked by being in the present and perhaps that is where realization and revelation can be found. Maybe that's the only place.

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

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  8. There is only one that can interpret and experience your moment of clarity, enlightenment or otherwise 'euforic' state, and yes, that is you. Sometimes you have to take a moment to find the meaning for yourself. As you can tell, all of us, on the other side of the line, are biased with our 'belief' or 'worldview'. I understand you mediate regularly, which is very important in processing what you encounter during your day. I assume you need less sleep then most people because of that (see: all assumptions). Also, I can assume some things about why it happened and how, but basically, you will have to go the journey to get the real answer. Instead of giving you yet another 'interpretation', I hope I can give you some pointers in how to find the answer:
    1. were you just relaxing the moment before you received your 'experience'?
    2. Was there something about the situation of your grandfather which you have come to closure with or have felt in acceptance with?
    3. What was the reason you went to your grandfather? Do you do this often? Or was this visit because of another change in your life?

    Anyway, I am always enjoying others telling about these experiences, they don't necesarry are a once in a lifetime event (I had several smaller ones). Where they come from? I think their are a nexus in your own spiritual and mental evolving. Your medidation will have influence in the possibility to perceive it. Enjoy the journey. If you want to talk about it more, just contact me on my G+ account.

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    1. Thank you so much Mark for your detailed response to my post. I really appreciate your thoughts and questions, which have made me reflect a lot. I really like the perspective towards spiritual experiences that you are coming from.


      " I understand you mediate regularly, which is very important in processing what you encounter during your day. I assume you need less sleep then most people because of that (see: all assumptions"

      I think you are right on that one. I've gotten into the habit of waking up at 4 am. Now I don't even need an alarm clock.It's automatic. Initially I began doing so to chant with a japa mala, and still do sometimes, but lately I've been using that time for anapana and vissipana meditation as well as reading. I usually go to bed around 10:30-11. So I get about 5-5.5 hours of sleep every night. Not sure what the average is suppose to be. I think 8.

      Here's some answers to your questions:

      1. were you just relaxing the moment before you received your 'experience'?

      Pretty much. I was driving in the car. My grandfather lives about 25 minutes away from me and I had been driving for about 15 minutes. Listening to music and just taking in the scenery on the way home.

      2. Was there something about the situation of your grandfather which you have come to closure with or have felt in acceptance with?

      Well, usually when I visit my grandfather I have my kids with me, so it was nice to spend some one on one time with him without any interruptions.


      3. What was the reason you went to your grandfather? Do you do this often? Or was this visit because of another change in your life?

      I try to see him once every week or so. It had been awhile so I was really looking forward to visiting.

      There are a couple of things that I would write but would rather in messages...so I think I'll take you up on that offer. Thanks for it. :)

      ~ peace~

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  9. Thank you for sharing such an experience of the sublime! No comment is good enough for this post. Just "Congratulations"!

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    1. Thank you so much Lucian. I'm glad you enjoyed this post. :)

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  10. Jessica, you have vividly and authentically described the indescribable. Once again, your words blow me away and sweep me off my feet. I have a strong feeling that you will always remember this remarkable experience in your life.
    Love and blessings!

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    1. Thank you Martha! I always appreciate your thoughts and encouragement. :)

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  11. Jessica, peace be upon you. Thank you for inviting me to this wonderful place wherein you share your evolving "spiritual self...," your soul...

    "I had what I could only consider to be a profound spiritual experience." As we grow into full soul consciousness...every moment of every day becomes and IS a "profound spiritual experience..."

    You express yourself beautifully; you are, indeed, a poet writing the prose of the daily experiencing of your life. "Only a poet can discern prose in the commonplace routines of everyday living..."

    And I share your deep insights into the meanings of our experiences--the spiritual values to which they attach--truth, beauty and goodness--the eternal values of the spirit of the Person of the Infinite and Eternal Timeless One...

    In loving appreciation...

    Tim

    P.S. I've added your blog and Facebook page to the Of Special Interest sidebars of my three blogs. :-)

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