It seems like ages since I published my last post, "Disidentification Meditation", sharing a meditation that I've found helpful practicing and that aids me in realizing the nondual state. That was a follow up post from, "Knowing Nonduality", an article that explored the nature of nonduality and how it is a state that is more fully understood by direct experience rather than though means of the intellect. In that post I was going to include my own personal reflections of the nondual that have come from entering into glimpses of that state. Since, however, I was including a rather lengthy quote from Ken Wilber in which he described his thoughts on the nondual I felt including mine would be over doing it a bit and that it would be best if I left my own reflections for a future post.
Life has kept my blog from being as active as I would like it to be lately. As I find myself with some extra time this morning I'd like to post what I had written when reflecting on my own limited experiences of the nondual.
If you've had experiences of realizing the nondual state while meditating or any other experiences or insights during moments of mindfulness/meditation I'd love to hear about them in the comments section.
When an awareness of the reality that defines All that exists breaks upon my consciousness I suddenly realize that what was so hard to grasp is really so simple to understand when experienced. A sense of joy and even humor rises up in my awareness, sometimes causing spontaneous laughter at the irony and simple beauty of it all.
The nondual state is less of an experience and more of a reality to be aware of. So obvious. So Simple. So transforming. It becomes so clear that it's the "grasping" that is what hinders us and keeps us back from reaching the summit of our exploration through our consciousness. I am still nowhere near the summit but I've been looking upwards and through the clouds far above me I feel as if I have caught glimpses of its peak. Really the journey never does end. At least not in this lifetime. That's alright though, because when it comes down to it, mountain, sky and I, we are all one anyways. Those of us that are on this journey are on it not for the destination but for the sake of the journey itself.
When I let go and relax and merely be, it's as if the Self rises like a phoenix in my awareness, becoming my awareness, scattering the ashes of the ego. The ego is still present but in a peculiar way. No longer subject but object to be observed. No longer driving my thoughts and desires. I realize then, not just conceptually but experientially, that I am truly not my thoughts and desires. That I am one with all that surrounds me. I feel unbelievably free as I shed the baggage of self. When it comes down to bare reality I have the deep sense that we are all interconnected. In one inhalation it's as if I can taste infinity. It's an ecstasy and relief of sorts to experience. I feel as if I am beginning to truly understand now what the sages and mystics of old speak about when they say that the end of the ego is the end of suffering.
We can hear these experiences be told by others and only offer up our own feelings of perplexity at their words in response if we, too, haven't shared in realizing such a state. Hearing and reading others speak of the nondual used to both intrigue and confuse me. Now I feel as if I've stepped into the water itself and have begun flowing with the currents, no longer resisting, just simply Being. Extending my sense of self outwards to no longer be defined by that which is contained within the barrier of bone and flesh. It is with the act of abandoning myself to the flow and becoming one with it that a new awareness and understanding rises up before me. It doesn't last long, not nearly long enough. But the glimpses I've had let me know what is possible and what truly Is when one untethers the cord that anchors one to self and is able then to drift into the naked reality of Self.
Thoughts? I'd love to hear them! Please leave them in the comments section!