Welcome: An Introduction

Sharing the insights I discover as I explore and experience the mystery that is our reality. Join me in my journey and share yours.




Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Death









My walks through our town often take the same course. I go down one of the busiest roads in our area. It  whistles and buzzes with the rhythmic swooshing and sporadic sounding of car horns. Then hanging a quick right I traverse through our town's cemetery before coming out on a road perpendicular that takes me back home. I suppose I could just take the sidewalk that lines the perimeter around the cemetery but, in all honesty, something attracts me to this seemingly grim place. In fact, almost every time I walk through there I wonder if someone might think me morbid for making such a custom of visiting an earth that is fertile with the decaying flesh and bones of individuals who once felt life pulse through them. That laughed and wept under the same sky that now breaks warm hues through my consciousness as it shines down upon our town's lake below, in its brilliance reflecting a world of impermanence.


    Being there reminds of the ever changing nature of life. The only constant is change. I recently had a conversation where the purpose of life was discussed. It dawned on me that perhaps the primary purpose of life was not to necessarily love others or make a difference in the world but simply to live. To fully live. To meet each moment where it finds us and become completely immersed and saturated in the awareness of the  interconnectedness that Is. Like a wave that rises to its full height, crest reaching towards the heavens , poised at the pinnacle of each moment conscious awareness of the present allows us to experience God in all His transcendent glory. When that happens all of the other notions we have of what makes life meaningful, like serving and loving others, follow because we want to nurture the interconnectedness that we experience. A deep empathy arises within us and spills out covering the world around us in God's love.


    Should we fear death? What is death and what happens when we die? These questions have undoubtedly been asked since the first homo sapien capable of consciousness initially became aware of death.  Perhaps this occurred after taking his first meal and feeling warm flesh grow cold and stiff, witnessing entrails staining emerald grass a ghastly crimson hue. A flash of revelation dawning on him that he was ending a life to preserve his own. Or maybe even from seeing the leaves begin to change color, turn an earthy shade and fall to disintegrate into the ground below. An intense fear must have arose the moment he realized that he would meet the same fate. From the earliest times religions have sprung up as a way for man to help make peace and reconciliation with his unavoidable demise.

    I just finished viewing a documentary, "Flight from Death:The Quest for Immortality". It showed the results from many psychological studies that point towards the defensiveness individuals and groups have towards their versions of immortality which are generally embedded within their psyches through their religious beliefs. Myths and religious constructs, whether you believe them to be true or not, certainly have an affect in providing people with a sense of security and a deep sense of meaning to life which helps to make death less mysterious.

    The beginning of the film was very interesting as it took the viewer from one culture's creation story to another. I found it fascinating. It then showed why tolerance towards other beliefs can be such a precarious goal.  When one opens themselves up to accepting another person's belief as valid, it begins to threaten their own belief of immortality which provides them with their sense of meaning and purpose. That threat can shatter the very sense of their  foundation of their existence. 

    When the foundation which is the basis for their belief of immortality is threatened, defensive measures ensue, oftentimes violent, as the studies and historical accounts reveal. The film noted historically that all other murders by individuals, like serial killers,  were a drop in the bucket compared to the  amount of killing and violence linked toward the defense of people's beliefs in order to maintain their sense of security over their perceptions of immortality. To feel like their sense of immortality is valid and true, and thus their eternal fates sealed and secure, people have been known throughout time to attempt to either conform others with differing views to accept their own or eradicate them. How tragic and utterly unnecessary. 

    In a book I'm reading, from Alan Watts he describes the anxiety and near obsession we have with death as being like that of a cat chasing it's tail. He chases his tail because he hasn't the notion of his whole self and sees his tail as a separate part of himself. If he could only realize that his head and tail were connected by his elongated and sleek torso he would realize that it were all one and lose his intense and rather distracting obsession with pursuing something he perceives is outside of himself and a completely futile pursuit. That is exactly the relationship life has with death.  It is a different side of the same coin. It is a natural part of our existence, for to have an eternal life would, really , be near torture. A soul needs its time to rest.

    We differ from the rest of animals in that our consciousness allows us to perceive and project our own theories about what the future holds. This can lead to intense fears and anxieties. We see death around us and know that it lurks around the corner of our life's story, not knowing which page will be the last, the ending a mystery that has been sought to be answered throughout time. In The Book On the Taboo of Knowing Oneself, Watts describes the transition from life to death as something not to be feared but more as an awakening of sorts to be welcomed as a natural course of one's existence. When a person is imminently facing their inevitable end with refusal  and grandeur illusions of escaping it they are doing themselves a grave disservice in not preparing themselves to enter into a glorious awakening. Death should not be feared, but welcomed when it is time, as a natural course of things.

    "In death we doff the persona, as actors take off their masks and costumes in the green room behind the scenes. And just as their friends come behind the stage to congratulate them on the performance, so one's own friends should gather at the deathbed to
    help one out of one's mortal role, to applaud the show, and, even more,
    to celebrate with champagne or sacraments (according to taste) the great awakening of death."
    ~ Alan Watts, The Book On The Taboo of Knowing Who You Are p. 33




    You might not feel that you obsess about death. I certainly don't think I do. The psychologists and neuroscientists in the documentary brought up the point that even though we might not seem to be dwelling on death consciously we are continually exposed to the reality of death. It could be from the evening news as we listen to an act of violence resulting in murder being reported. It could be driving by a bad accident and the thought of life's fragility flashing through our minds. Even if we seem to readily enough dismiss these occurrences our subconsciousness has been proven not to. The documentary further revealed through studies that the reminder of death in our subconscious mingled with our own interpretation of immortality effects the way we perceive events and participate in them.  When death is subconsciously being thought of test subjects have been known to be less sensitive, even conjuring up malicious intentions, to those of different belief systems. 

    We can't really control, as far as I know, what our subconsciousness is exposed to or thinks. We can, however, begin to reconsider our notions of death and thereby start to build a more secure and healthy foundation for the way we approach others in the world. Realizing that even if we dare to consider another person's version of immortality, that regardless of either their version or ours, death is a natural process, comes to us all, and is merely an extended journey of our eternal existence.


    The tragedy that happens to so many is that they are obsessed with their own mortality, as well as other meandering thoughts, that they fail to live in the present moment which is the only real kind of living there is. So some people die without really living at all.
    Perhaps our biggest fear shouldn't necessarily be death but should, instead, be whether or not the life we had to live here on earth was squandered. When we cultivate a habit of mindfulness, of living in the present moment, the abundant miracles and wonders of life begin to rise up and make themselves known. We live life fully. Living in the present moment ushers one into experiencing a deep sense of interconnectedness with all that is, and helps to vanish much of the unease regarding the turning of the last page of one's final chapter.

    Thoughts? I'd love to hear them! Please leave them in the comments section. Thank you!

    41 comments:

    1. I don't fear death one bit nor do I dwell on it, I also have my own (some might share the same view) views on how I handle when someone passes. I believe we are all taken when it's our time, yes it's sad when someone young is taken from our presence, and the part that makes it difficult is often the story behind their passing. Illness, accidents or someone's malicious act.

      It makes it easier to remember that they are in a better place, that any worries, sickness, etc all went away, and they are now watching over us. It's about remembering the life they lived, the good memories that makes it easier. No death isn't easy and it hurts, but it helps to remember the things I mentioned.

      Nope you are morbid for walking through that cemetery on your walks, something about some cemeteries that have a calming, relaxing effect on some people. (and i am not sure those are the right words either) Many are beautiful especially a lot of the older ones, the ones that blend with it's own natural surroundings. I am always turned off by some of the ones, when you see them from across the road you wonder, is the grass fake? Not to mention many have actually removed all the trees. No I am not morbid either, but something about cemeteries that draw my attention.

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    2. Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.So why worry about it...Life is not about what I've done, what I should've done, what I could've done... it's about what I can do and what I will do..so enjoy God's gift of life...
      Great post Jessica.

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    3. Yes, we should live life to the fullest we possibly can, Jessica! Aware and awake, in the joy of the moment.
      Such a thoughtful, sentient post!
      Blessings!

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    4. Debbie, Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. Glad I'm not the only one who likes to walk through cemeteries. It actually can be quite neat...The one by us has grave makers that are from the period during the revolutionary war and even earlier.
      ~blessings

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    5. This is truly enlightening and inspiring Jessica.

      At the beginning of this year, my family and I have been contemplating more on sickness, death and being prepared. I'm not sure what it is that makes us do so but it gave me a new sense of direction and a certain level of awareness to make things lighter and to enjoy every minute of my life with them.

      'A man fully alive is the glory of God' according to St. Irenaeus.Not many of us have approached it as such but it I do agree that living life fully, that's what we are created for.

      I began a reflection in my diary which I'll eventually share in my blog regarding this.

      I remember my professor in Christology who said that most of us refuse or get angry with God because we live life in view of death. They say, we live only to die in the end.

      People might approach that statement in a more positive way ~ it is only our bodies that are consumed, death is just a passage towards life eternal with Christ.

      I'll continue reflecting on this sis. There are many points to consider :)

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    6. Thank you for your thoughtful comment Alpana. :)I agree! ~blessings

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    7. Martha, Thank you for stopping by...I am glad you enjoyed the article. :) ~blessings

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    8. Melissa, Thank you so much for leaving your thoughts...I loved the quote you shared from. St. St. Irenaeus. I think it's great that your family is having an open and honest dialogue about death/sickness.
      ~blessings

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    9. You already got some great comments, Jessica. I especially liked the part that the purpose of life is to live. What other purpose could we possibly have than to be here? And if to live is to die, I see that as perfectly natural as well. I don't want to run and hide from that fact. I want to accept death and understand how and why it benefits us.

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    10. Wise words...Thank you JR for stopping by . :)

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    11. Hello Jessica.
      No, I don't fear death, for death is only a deep sleep that will one day be awakened by the Almighty's promise in the resurrection.

      Thanks for sharing. I appreciate the comment too.

      Zealous For Your Love

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    12. Thank you Andy for your thoughts. :) I figure worse case scenario death is like it was before we were born...and really, that doesn't seem too bad to me. :)
      ~blessings

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    13. I'm still caught up in the descriptiveness of your first paragraphs. You have such a way with words that you can take me into a far off world. As for the notion of death and the links with others fighting for their own mortality, I guess I'm with your notion about living life to the fullest. I remember a conversation with my grandad when I lost a beloved pet and him telling me that he had lived a good life so to celebrate that aspect rather than to mourn his loss. I remember asking him if he was afraid of death and him telling me that death was just another stage of life. For to have lived properly means that death is a natural path to the succession of life, like the fruit born from the oak, the oak may reach it's potential but it will continue to live through the very make up of the next oak to come along. I didn't fully understand that then because I was too young but I understand he was trying to tell me that our bodies my wither and die but through the life that we give to others we still live and for that very reason he was not afraid to die and neither am I.

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    14. Wow SJ...beautiful reflections. Thank you so much...I loved reading your comment. May we all bear much fruit in our life, whose seeds will sprout and grow long after we cease to...

      ~blessings

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    15. This is very interesting Jessica! I find that at times I think more about death and the actual process of dying. I guess there are always questions...what happens to you? I know that heaven awaits me but the transit is scary. I also think it is normal to feel that way because we are only human. I really enjoyed reading this!

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    16. Those steeped in Christianity who truly believe that Christ died and rose again on the third day should not fear death.

      Faith in the knowledge that Christ DID rise should comfort those fearful of death. I for one UNDERSTAND there is no death, for Christ defeated it when he rose on the third day. I may not want to transition, but I'm certainly not afraid to.

      You said:
      I suppose I could just take the sidewalk that lines the perimeter around the cemetery but, in all honesty, something attracts me to this seemingly grim place.

      A cemetery is only grim if you believe it is. Everything is a matter of perspective, Jessica. My opinion?
      You walk through the cemetery because you're still seeking answers to your unquenchable thirst for answers. A cemetery is ostensibly closed, buried locked away. Anyone seeking answers will be attracted to locked rooms. The curious always are. They want to know the secrets to life. What better place to seek the answers then a locked room? If you could find a way in, oh the treasures you'd find.

      Think about it.
      --
      Chris

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    17. Savannah has some lovely cemeteries that date back to the civil war and are the most relaxing places to stroll and enjoy nature. Erin loved to chase squirrels while I sat on a bench and read for hours...Took Cody there today and he enjoyed himself.

      As I get older my mortality is thought of more often and questions abound but no one has answers as the deceased don't speak. I maintain faith that God will take care of me when my time is done here and a reunion with loved ones will take place...That includes Erin!! Well written post. Take care!!

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    18. I used to be oblivious to the end or death... Something I avoided to see...face or hear about.. until I had to take care of my father in law... I was with him for 3 months. Little did I know that I was his crutch while he was being prepared for death and I was being forced to face it...

      There a came a point in time where he asked me "Am I going to die" My usual reaction would have been no... the doctors will help... BUT I looked straight into his eyes and said Yes... "you are"

      I journeyed with him through the many phases and there was a calmness and trust between us He trusted me to take him to the last stage.. I knew when he would take his last breath.....

      I learnt from him that regrets are useless... to live now and achieve what you can so that my children will have a legacy... that wealth of materialism is not important and lastly death the passage can be ugly but the end id beautiful....

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    19. Lovely! I agree. often even living in the present brings in thoughts of meaninglessness to life, but then we have to believe n the love of God our creator, and get a sense of meaning

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    20. Very well written and I agree with you. In spending time with my mother who has said for 20 years,"I'm gonna die soon anyway,." when ever she had a choice to make, seeing life through my eyes for the last year has changed her. I simply don't sweat the small stuff as they say. I try to be honest and enjoy every minute I have, she has seen this, I believe it has lightened her heart. She was stuck on regrets, remorse, guilt and anger. I have her talk of the beautiful times she has had as I share mine. She laughs a lot more now too. So yes she may die tomorrow, but so may I. I will leave knowing that I have lived every (or nearly) day in the moment.
      Thank you for such an excellent read, you made my evening and brought me back to my life.

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    21. A nice article.Well,I am a bit curious about the phenomenon called 'death', and often visit the places like the Westminster Abbey where England's greats are resting in peace.It reminds me how those persons have 'conquered' death by remaining in our memories all these years. This gives me resolve to at least leave behind some good poems and a good name! I get a feel of solemnity there and especially at Shakespeare's tomb in Stratford.
      However,while discussing about the topic of 'death' as it appears in various writers' works,my dear proffessor Mr.H. Smith asked us to always keep in mind a short poem by W. B. Yeats:
      "Nor dread nor hope attend
      A dying animal;
      A man awaits his end
      Dreading and hoping all;
      Many times he died,
      Many times rose again.
      A great man in his pride
      Confronting murderous men
      Casts derision upon
      Supersession of breath;
      He knows death to the bone-
      Man has created death."

      .....Autumn Eliza

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    22. Nelieta, Thank you for stopping by. "I know that heaven awaits me but the transit is scary. " To me, I find that part unsettling as well. I've witnessed a couple of people who I love go through the dying transition, and it was full of suffering. At that point death is a great mercy and a welcomed next stage..but getting there is often a trial in and of itself.
      ~blessings

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    23. Chris,

      "Those steeped in Christianity who truly believe that Christ died and rose again on the third day should not fear death."

      I definitely agree there...The psychologists in the documentary would point to such beliefs, though, as often preventing those that hold them to entertain or tolerate other people's versions of immortality because if they did, they would then start to question or see their own as less valid...and then perhaps that would give room for fear to creep in. But I agree, if one truly believes in the gospel, they will not fear in their hearts but will see their death as a homecoming.


      "I may not want to transition, but I'm certainly not afraid to."

      I can identify with that...I want to live as long as is possible, but at the same time am not afraid when my time nears an end.


      "They want to know the secrets to life. What better place to seek the answers then a locked room? If you could find a way in, oh the treasures you'd find."

      Never thought of it that way...Thanks Chris...you've given me much to reflect on. ~blessings

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    24. David,

      Thank you for sharing your experiences of meandering through cemeteries. I'm glad I'm not the only one. :) Glad you enjoyed the post. ~blessings

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    25. Savira, Thank you so much for sharing the experience you had in helping your faith-in-law to pass. It really touched me. You were an immeasurable blessing to him and it seems like you learned some valuable lessons in the process as well.

      When my husband and I first married his grandmother became very ill and, staying home with my infant daughter, we welcomed the opportunity to take care of her. I had no idea of what was in store. It was very difficult watching the months pass and her physical self, and even worse, mental self, deteriorate. I had seen my friend slowly pass away in high school from cancer but this was a bit different in that my husband's grandmother's mind was going as well. The amount of suffering that some face as death nears can be very scary indeed..but though the passage might be hard , the destination is a mercy and welcomed relief, I believe.

      Thanks again.
      ~blessings

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    26. Jerly, Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. :)
      ~blessings

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    27. Jan, I am so glad you enjoyed this post. You are undoubtedly a precious source of light and inspiration for your mother...I love the perspective you have. Thank you for sharing.
      ~many blessings

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    28. Autumn,

      Thank you so much for sharing your poem. I really enjoyed it! I do think we can all be immortal , in the sense that we can leave a legacy behind. Whether it's in our written words, or the memories we impart in our loved one's minds, a part of us lingers on when we leave.

      ~blessings

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    29. You've beautifully and perceptively described the roller coaster ride of Life here Jessica.

      A schoolroom within the space/time continuum whwere we can learn to Dance with the Divine in all His joyfulnress and playfulness. Spirit knows when we can't take any more - time to come Home and sit a while!

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      1. Dylan, Thank you so much for stopping by. :) I Love how you describe it...life here being like a schoolroom where we can "learn to Dance with the Divine in all His joyfulness and playfulness"...may we all dance to our fullest before the time of our rest comes!
        ~blessings to you my friend

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    30. Jessica this was a beautiful and thought provoking piece. I have so much to ponder now;)
      Living in the moment is the most important thing but it must be practiced continually. I slip out of the moment a thousand times a day but I'll never give up trying. I want to really live. Now.
      Blessings & Peace!
      Leah

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      1. Leah, I can totally relate. I try to begin the day in meditation but often can't because my kids end up waking up when I do and once they are awake there's no chance! Repeating my mantram helps me stay centered but I oftentimes forget that! It's definitely a process that requires practice...staying in the moment. I do have hope it gets a lot easier with persistence and dedication to the pursuit. I'm glad you never give it up! :)

        ~blessings

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    31. I do not fear death as much as I am curious about death. I think death is just a beginning to an end. And instead of worrying about death we should concentrate on living life fully without regrets.Jessica this post of yours is a very thought provoking one. Thank you for sharing it.

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      1. Rimly, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I think you have a great perspective. :)

        ~blessings

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    32. You have a wonderful way with words, Jessica. I completely agree we should concentrate on living a fulfilling life. :)

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    33. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?
      ...But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

      "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies.." My only consolation.
      Thanks Jessica for bringing this subject to the fore.

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    35. My only fear of death is that I may not have lived life to the fullest when it comes...Does that make sense? I want to make sure that before I die have truly lived...Great food for thought as always, Jessica.

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    36. Thank you Rachel. Always great to have you stop by and leave your thoughts. :)

      Debra...Thank you...That's a beautiful consolation to have. Jesus is certainly a source of light to those that face the darkness of death.
      ~blessings

      Corinne...That makes total sense to me...Thank you for stopping by. :)

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    37. Hi, Jessica! ~

      Interesting and thought-provoking post.

      When you say, "From the earliest times religions have sprung up as a way for man to help make peace and reconciliation with his unavoidable demise," it reads like you believe that is the case for all religions. I'm not sure if that's what you meant to say?

      My views on death were formed mostly by a spontaneous psychic experience from which I then developed my spiritual ideas and understanding, and not the other way around.

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    38. Linda...

      "When you say, "From the earliest times religions have sprung up as a way for man to help make peace and reconciliation with his unavoidable demise," it reads like you believe that is the case for all religions. I'm not sure if that's what you meant to say?"

      Yes..that's the conclusion I've been coming too...And that is quite a perceptive question! :)

      ~blessings

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